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August 21, 2017

Why I still rock my 2 year old!

Today I lost my patience a little too much, screamed a lot more than I’m willing to accept and took one too many Tylenols to deal with a headache I had inflicted on myself.

 

This, was motherhood for me today.

My daughter Bella, a very active 2 years old, is at the “testing” stage. She tests my patience, she tests her every limit and she tests her voice most all of all. Her constant screaming which always follows with my lack of patience and depending on where we are at a time out or a spanking, yes, spank my child.

Her constant screaming is out of hand, which always follows with my lack of patience and depending on where we are at a timeout or a spanking.

Today was one of those days where she wasn’t having it. She didn’t want to nap, she didn’t want to eat and wanted nothing to do with mommy. She wanted gummies, endless horsie rides at Kroger and just daddy.  2’o clock came around and I had to push a nap in for me and her, which I believe is where the entire problem lies. She is wanting to skip naps yet her body and mind are not ready for that, so we had to push a late nap in and as it is accustomed

She wanted gummies, endless horsie rides at Kroger and just daddy.  2’o clock came around and I had to push a nap in for her and me, so we had to push a late nap in and as usual I rock her to sleep.I have done this since the first time I could sit up straight after my C-section.  When she was little we did it because I breastfed her and as time passed we continued to do it. There were times that I was already too tired and just wanted to go to sleep, or do laundry or clean but I had to rock Bella, that was the only way she would fall asleep.I won’t lie at times I hated it. I had many other things to do.  I google for help, called friends and ask as many people as possible but nothing worked, so I did the next best thing, I kept doing it.

I have done this since the first time I could sit up after my C-section.  When she was little we did it because I breastfed her and as time passed we never stopped. There were times that I was already too tired and just wanted to go to sleep, or do laundry or clean but I had to rock Bella, that was the only way she would fall asleep.I won’t lie at times I hated it. I had other things to do.  I google for help, called friends and ask as many people as possible but nothing worked, so I did the next best thing, I kept doing it.

Almost 2 years in I discovered why God wanted me to continue, because motherhood is hard, probably the hardest thing I have done in my life. It takes everything out of you, you no longer sleep, there is no such thing as eating or drinking anything hot and you will never be the first in again, but gosh is the most rewarding and loving job in the universe. That, in its self, is why I still rock my 2-year-old and why I will continue to rock her until she lets me.

Because I will lose my patience and my cool too many times in the years or long days to come but I still have that 15-30 minutes session of rocking, where we pray, talk, and where you can find my crying my eyes out at the fact that God choose me to love on this 2 feet exploding ball of joy, energy, and sass. That He loved me enough to let me experience a tiny bit of what He feels for me. That He has given me this healthy loving child to teach me that motherhood may take everything out of me to put in a blender and make it the most delicious smoothie I have ever tried. This is motherhood, this is real love.

I’m blessed to be a mom! I’m blessed to be Bella’s mom!

So you can find me spending almost an hour a day rocking my babe to sleep and loving every bit of it because this is my joy, my moment to reflect and apologize to not only my daughter and God but to myself as we all tend to treat ourselves too badly.

I encourage you, whether is staring at your angel sleeping or like me, rocking them to bed, take that moment and think about your journey in this crazy motherhood road and love every bit of it. This will make those 2 very long minutes of screaming, tantrums and just disobedience that much easier.

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