April 24, 2017

Why her 2nd Birthday is harder

My baby is now two!
I say my baby because she will always be my baby
I remember the moment I found out I was pregnant as I jumped around in the bathroom by myself as I wanted to be more than sure before telling Lester.

I remember that feeling of hearing her heartbeat for the first time and seeing her on the screen. I remember calling her my sweet pea.

So many prayers came true the moment I held her in my hands and I’m so blessed to be her mom, and I mean really blessed.
But, I have to be honest, I cried every day on her birth week. Every.single.day.

Most of the time happy tears but other, many others, were really sad tears.
Tears that wished I could have my little 6.5 lbs baby back.
I know it sounds horrible and ungrateful, but it’s truly how I felt and feel sometimes.

I’m terrified of the moment I’ll want to kiss her in public and she’ll be embarrassed and I know it will happen because I was once there with my own mom.

Just last week I asked her if she wanted me to carry her and she responded with “hand mama”.

Don’t get me wrong I completely understand that she has to grow up and I enjoy our conversations, her little saying and how she mimics everything we say and do but it’s so bittersweet.

The selfish person in me want to hold her forever, keep her little and avoid at all cost anything and everyone that can hurt her, but the mom in me can’t wait to see her grow up, enjoy life and see her develop in life.

And that’s why two has been harder than one. When she was turned one we were still breastfeeding, she was walking already but preferred to be carried, she still fit perfectly on my hip and chest. Now she is longer, heavier and oh so much bigger.

I now have a full force toddler with personality and a whole lot of attitude.

Now she tells me what she wants and doesn’t want. Now she just wants to grow up. She just wants to be like us and my heart rejoices as I see my little girl learn, and want to achieve so much. She is the smartest little girl I know and as much I wish I could keep her little I’m in love and cant wait to see who she will be one day! All that she will accomplish and all the work God will do in her life.

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  • Dawn P Darnell

    Aww happy birthday to your girl! She is so adorable!

    April 24, 2017 at 2:58 pm Reply
  • sarah vieira

    It is such a bittersweet moment, to see them become more independent from us but also so much marvelous beauty to see what God is doing thru them in their growth.

    April 24, 2017 at 5:34 pm Reply
  • Jessica from a monkey and his mama

    I feel ya mama. It goes by way too quickly! She's precious ☺️

    April 24, 2017 at 6:03 pm Reply
  • Vanessa Sokic

    Awww I hear ya! But I so love these toddler stages of growth and excitement!!

    April 24, 2017 at 8:54 pm Reply
  • Crazylifewithlittles

    It makes me so sad to think that one day my babies won't really need me like they do now. But it is exciting to see them grow up and do great things!

    April 24, 2017 at 11:52 pm Reply
  • Jen at And Hattie Makes Three

    My husband struggled with her turning 2 really bad. He missed the baby stage but really loved her having independence.

    April 25, 2017 at 2:55 pm Reply
    • claudiaestrada22

      yes!! it makes me so proud but my mama heart does ache

      April 28, 2017 at 9:35 pm Reply
  • Patricia Taylor

    I can so relate to this!!! I had a sweet moment with my Lily (2 and a half) today when she just wrapped her little arms around my neck! She's a little cuddle bug but so independent and I can't believe how fast she's growing up!!

    April 26, 2017 at 7:37 am Reply
  • Chelsea McKinney

    Well let me just sit here and mop up my tears! Adalynn will be two in August and I already can NOT believe it! And though she's not quite two yet, there is so much truth in this already! Cue more tears!!!!

    April 28, 2017 at 9:07 pm Reply
    • claudiaestrada22

      oh mama as much as it hurts that they grow so fast you'll find a joy seeing her grow up and loving life!

      April 28, 2017 at 9:36 pm Reply

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