Is not something I talk about much, but definitely need to.
Is such a huge part of me and my life that it boggles me that it has taken me this long to actually sit down and write about it. Write about my faith and God. Maybe is the fact that I will be spilling all my insides for everyone to see and read. Or maybe the fact that as a 26-year-old I still get self-cautious.
Not to say that I am or ever have been in the business of hiding my faith or my God, but it is something I’m very sure many will not understand. At the same time is something so personal that it’s hard to explain.
Personal, because not everyone has had that encounter that leaves you thinking and full of the Holy Spirit. That encounter that makes you doubt everything you have worked for and leaves you with a new set of thoughts. Thoughts that you have never had before, things that you have never imagine but yet so full of love and easy to understand.
A little bit ago I sat in a classroom full of students trying to explain what and how the Holy Spirit works. As I explained to them what the Holy Spirit means to me and that deciding moment where you realize what and who you really are I couldn’t help but tear up.
My eyes were full of tears as I tried my best to explain what I’m about to explain to you.
To me this is the basis of a relationship with God.
Is that moment where in the middle of a song, prayer or preaching you feel the light deem low, feel everyone dissapar and get this warmth all over you body that makes you just want to fall on your knees and surrender everything you are to the one and only God.
Is as simple as falling in love.
Is that amazing feeling of “feeling complete”. The feeling of finally getting it. Getting that you may never fully understand God but you will follow Him and dedicate to Him, to glorify Him in every situation.
I wont lie. Being a christian is not easy. Like I said, it’s like falling in love.
In love you choose to love everyday no matter what.
With God you choose to believe in Him not matter what.
Just this week I’ve been having a few situations shake me to my core. One of them being Bella getting sick. She is usaally a very strong child, stronger than me, many many times, but this virus got her down, very down.
I’ve prayed more than usual these last few days. I found myself praying most of the day over her but she has not been getting better. On the contrary she is expressing more pain that has ever expressed.
My mama heart hurst!
Daddys heart hurts too.
Just today I brooke down to tears. I literally cried like a baby to my husband over the phone.
I dont understand why she ins’t getting better, why this is happening to her, why not me and most importantly why God hasnt answered my prayer….
And then I remember a preaching I heard last week… About God’s time.
About how His time is not my time and how He is still God.
HE is still the God that saved me.
The God that saved Bella’s life.
The God that has kept my marriage afloat.
The God that made me a mom and honestly my list could go on forever.
God is still God. He knows what He is doing and when He is quiet I know He is working.
So to you, my friend, to you the one that doesn’t believe, yet.
To you, the one who still has questions.
To you, that doesnt understand it all, I tell you this….
God is still God. Through our worries, hardship, dark times.
He is there.
Quielty waiting for us to be quiet and understand that He is working.
He is always at work.
That you will never be alone. If you choose to have Him in your heart, if you choose to let Him in He will always be there for you.
In those hard moments, just like mine, close your eyes and ask Him to please show you how, and I’m more than sure you’ll feel the warmth I talked about. You’ll feel Him hugging you. Telling you to trust him.
Please feel free to email me if you wish to take that step or need any kind of prayer at all!
Love you and God bless!